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Junky To Funky

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What's up?
Welcome to the Pimp Cave.

While you're around, make yourself comfy.

Urbogram me, prop me and I'll return the know, the usual stuff.

I go by FB usually around here, just to give you a heads up, but I've gotta few other nicknames.

If you wanna hear a story, check out page 4. Page 2 is a voting page where I put random things for you to vote on, and page 3 is trades.

So what are you waitin' for? Gram me and we'll do lunch.

Holla at me,


Shwolf - Jessica

Flingo - Ace

Urbo Gato - Big Mac




Da Swap Corner


Deadly shades....20k


Saber Thrower.....100k

Saturday Night Shirt...75k

Onyx Pecs....75k

Happy Fun Time Balloon...20k

Pirate Vest...100k

Health + 5 TPs.....170k

Super + 5 TPs...190k

Other + 5 TPs...155k

*Please note that TPs might not always be in but these are my usual prices for them when they are in my trades. Gram me*


(your name here): I sure wish someone would help me with a job! And all I have is this handful of urbos...

FB: Well you've come to the right place, (your name here)!

(your name here): Gee whiz, thanks a million, FlyBalla!


The point of that was that I am happy to do some of the following for you:

-advertising something on my page or in the forums

-writing you a story/rap

-drawing you an avatar or pic

-whatever your needs are!

There will be a price to pay, and it will be negotiable. I will give newbies a break, and the price won't be large even if you are an experianced veteran player. But be creative, and if you need a hand, you know who to call.


These are some UNEDITED stories about my past...hopefully some will get in the chronicles. Gram me if you like em.

Once upon a time-
no, no, no. I don't like that. Let's just start straight with the story.

It was a late summer night. There was a huge party, everyone was dancing till 2 AM. I was the last to leave. It was about 4. Pitch black. Funk's lights had just given a last buzz and gone out. I started my way home, on the outskirts of Urbanville, other side of town. Then, I heard it.

Deep, slow, raspy breathing. Very distant. But getting closer.

I picked up my pace a little. "Funk?" I asked, hoping he was still near. "Funk?" I was getting desperate. Calm down, I told my self, you're imagining's not real, it's just-
"HELP!" I screamed, "IT'S GOT ME!!! FUNK!" I would have kept screaming my lungs out if the hand hadn't shoved something in my mouth. LET ME GO, I tried to yell as I struggled out of the intense grip. THUD! I had just gotten KO'd.

"UGHN....MY HEAD..." It took me a moment to remember what I was doing and why I was tied up. How long was I out? I looked around, and realized I was on a plane. It was full of crates. I'm in the cargo hold, I thought. I must be in the back of the plane.

I figured I wouldn't be gaining much progress escaping, being tied up and gagged, so I decided to walk, or hop, with my legs tied together, around the plane. It was then I realized that all the crates where printed with some biohazard sign, and over it, the words CAUTION.


I started looking around for an escape. I didn't expect much, I mean how far could a tied-up kid go, but I wasn't going to just sit there. I checked the walls. There was a far door, but it was obviously bolted tight. I tried it anyway. I checked the ceiling. Nope. There's gotta be something, I told my self. Keep walking around. Maybe you'll find-

UMPH. I tripped because a small step down...but into what? I looked down. Could it really be THAT easy? I stared straight at the red trapdoor lever. Now all I had to do is loosen these bonds...

"GET THE HOSTAGE", whined the char from the cockpit. "IT'S TIME." Three henchlings hurried to the back end of the plane.

YES! It was a miracle! The bonds were loosened up, thanks to a sharp edge on a door. I pulled on the trapdoor.


OF COURSE, I thought, I get kidnapped, tied up, somehow get untied, and found a trapdoor, but I'm flying over water. So that's how I'm gonna die. Cause I'm flying over-

What was that?

Footsteps. Getting closer. I looked around, trying to decide what to do. The door opened. "GET HIM!" the henchlings shrieked. It was now or never..."UGN!" I pushed myself down and out.

"HE DID WHAT?!?!?" screamed the char. "GO AFTER HIM! THE KID IS THE KEY OF THE WHOLE PLAN!" "but Sir-" "NOW!"

I fell through the air, my body limp. I was nearing unconsciousness. I could see Urbanville city lights just lighting up. And as I got closer I realized that the water Not ocean green, but murky, almost freaky sneaky tiki green. I could hear the evil sneer of henchlings behind me. SPLASH! I fell into the water. I fought to stay above the water (if it WAS water). And I went down, down, to the bottom of...whatever I was in. I pulled up with all my might, still sinking down. My lungs where scorched. I HAD to take in a breath. And...

I was breathing? HOW was I breathing? I was underwater, supposed to be drowning. But I was breathing. My head was immediately better. And I felt...great.

I expected to get hit by henchlings any second now, but I looked up, and they where drowning, but they didn't breathe. What now? I thought. There's a bunch of evil guys flying above me that for some reason want me held captive.

SPLASH! The plane had just fallen out of the sky, smoking, and hit the water. Then I saw the char, flaming, head to toe, glaring at me from the underwater cockpit.

Another uh-oh.

And it was coming for me, obviously outraged for some reason, full speed, that is, underwater full speed, and I turned to make a run (or, I guess swim) for it. But he was super fast, and he was next to me in a second.

Have you ever seen those intense action movies where the two guys just stare at each other for a second? This was one of those moments.

He threw the first punch, which I easily sidestepped. Wait, easily? I barely had time to wonder how in the world I was suddenly a good fighter before he came at me again. He threw a second, then a third, both dodged by me. "COME ON!", shrieked the char, "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" Then I realized he was so mad, all he wanted was to hit me. He was playing offense. And I could already see he was getting tired.

I threw a punch, just to keep him interested. It hit him square in the gut. "UUGH!" He was really furious now. He threw the old 1-2, and one hit me straight in the face, leaving a burn. Eventually, a huge scar. I bent over. He was huffing, totally out of breath-apparently he could breathe too-and I knew I had to keep going.

I slapped him. Yes, slapped. On the cheek. Like girls do to guys in weird soap operas. He was generating so much heat, I could feel it. I knew I had him mad. I knew he was about to throw as many punches as he could. And I was right.

First 1, then 2, 3, 4, 5, all sidestepped. He was beating himself up. This was my chance. THUD! "UUUGGGNNNN....." He was out cold. Well, he was flaming, know what I mean.

I decided now was my chance to leave before the char got up. I floated, almost flew to the top, with one little push. And kept going. And going. And I was flying, 50 feet above the water.

I was in awe. I...I can....FLY?

"WOOOHOOO!" I flipped all around doing all kinds of air maneuvers. I beat the bad guy, I figured out I can fly, this awesome! I was on top of the world! Then....I saw him.


"So the boy has powers of his own, now does he?" said the scratchy voice of Goatfist, from the rooftop of a skyscraper. He was watching me intently, wondering how his fool-proof plan had somehow not worked. "That idiot char...I always hated him..." mumbled Goatfist. "Ready the plane, I am going to have to get this kid myself...he will be no match for the hoof!"

I took off, not knowing where, barely even caring where, except that it was away. I flew with all my might, but I was still amateurish and did not have the speed or accuracy I have today. I had heard the stories, heard the word on the street, heard the dangers of this Goatfist character, but never really felt the intensity of that hoof. He was just like they described him.

I kept going, and going, and going, flying west, and west, away from Urbanville, till it was out of sight, till I hit an island. It wasn't too large, but big enough, a nice size. It was crescent-shaped, and upon seeing land, I dive-bombed in. I was more tired than I had ever been. I made sure to get a sense of direction, so I could find Urbanville. But when my feet hit the ground, I was out.

"WHERE COULD THE KID POSSIBLY BE?" Goatfist was fuming now, staring down at the water, from the cockpit. He had combed the water for hours, and found not even a trace of the kid. He had flown out of sight from Urbanville hours ago. And it was almost dark.

"Sir, maybe we should turn back, I think-" "NO, YOU DON'T THINK. I'M IN CHARGE. I DO THE THINKING." "Yes, lord, but-" "LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY, WE DON'T GO HOME UNTIL WE FIND THAT BOY." The henchling-pilot swallowed hard. There was nothing to eat or drink. He was going to fall asleep. And Goatfist was a mad man.


I know that I can't go back now. Goatfist will be looking for me. He wants revenge. And...I have to learn more abilities.

It has been 3 days since the incident. I have learned more about myself on the island.

It began the morning I woke up. I barely remembered where I was and why I was there. Then it hit me. Almost immediatly I realized my hunger. I knew I needed to find a source of food. I decided to explore the jungle.

As I walked through the thick brush, I found just about every fruit you could possibly think of and then some. I couldn't help myself, and so I began to eat. And I ate. And I ate. And I ate until finally I couldn't eat anymore. I was satisfied, and so I began to look for a place of shelter.


The sound of a thunderstorm approached my ears, and I knew I had to find shelter soon. I struck luck on the crescent-shaped island. I found a cave, big enough to be roomy, but small enough to be a shelter. I new I would need somewhere to get away from the storm soon, so I ducked in.


The storm was very close now. I started to think about what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't sit here on this island forever. But I couldn't go back now. I made the decision that I would stay long enough to test my powers. I wanted to get a grip before I went back.

I stood up. I closed my eyes, and I focused all my energy against gravity. I slowly began to rise into the air. I opened my eyes, and kept my balance. I tried to land, but stumbled and fell. I kept levitating until I could successfully lift myself up and down without failing.

I began to fly around in the bigger, back end of the cave. I flipped, I spun, I moved all around, and I got to the point where it was easy to do this. But as I was flying, I began to notice something strange. I was...well, I was...I told myself I was making it up. I flew around some more. I was sure of it now.

It was pitch black in the back of the cave, but I was...glowing.

I landed again. I started recalling everything that had happened to me. I was kidnapped, woke up on the plain, walked around, saw those boxes-

-The boxes! They must have something to do with me flying! But...if I can fly...what else can I do?

I remembered my fight with the was I so coordinated?

My face was still burnt from the char. I touched it carefully..."AHH!" I screamed in agonizing pain!


This story is about my loyal sidekick, Jessica the Shwolf. Hold the applause.

It all started in that red ebony leather chair next to Ira B. DaMan's desk, 6 months after...the story above. There was a beautiful Urb sunset shining through the glass panes of his top-floor private office.

We were duscissing some...strange...things that had been happening around Urbanville lately. Very strange things....

"In the past month," said DaMan, "there have been some...mysterious...occourances lately. It began 2 months ago, when there was a volcanic erruption about 250 miles outside Urbanville. Apparently, there were around 50 chars who were around it. They seemed to have been waiting for it. And that's not the weirdest part."

"The erruption seemed to have...changed them." DaMan was looking very serious, fear in his eyes. "They have had some amazing abilities, such as-well-"

"5 weeks ago, two civilians were walking through the streets when they were ambushed by, as they described them, 'lava in the form of a henchling'. I fear Urbanville is in grave danger. These lava-chars have some powers even we don't know about. And how they knew to get them from this volcano is also very strange..."

"...That's why we need you and Jess to clear things up." DaMan was showing a hint of a smile now. "Jess?" I asked. "Jess," he answered. "Jessica is a genetically mutated wolf. Our scientists have taken a female wolf and evolved her into a part-human. After your past...incident, we were able to extract part of you. We infused it with her..."

"You should be able to hear her thoughts. She is quite smart, and has amazing talents that even we don't fully know. But she will remain faithful to you, and she will help you on this journey." DaMan made a strange grunting noise, and in walked a pretty young girl, though shorter than the average person, nothing strange about her.

"Who is this?" I thought. "I am Jessica," said a voice that seemed to come from inside me. "Who said that?" I asked aloud. "FB, meet your new sidekick," DaMan said proudly.

"What does this girl have anything to do with a sidekick?" I asked DaMan. He made another grunt-click noise, and the girl transformed before my eyes.

First her hands. Her nails lengthened into razor-sharp talons, and her skin became a gray color. She began to grow hair, the same grey color, and lost her blonde locks. Then her back began to curve, her bones lenthened and shortened, till she fell on the floor before me. And there was a wolf, glaring at me through red eyes.

"Woah," I thought. "You're not so bad yourself," said the voice. "I know you two have a lot to discover and talk about, but now we must address the task at hand. You will go undercover, on the urbanville streets. FB, your name is Fred Johnson, you just started a shop called The Night Site. You work at night hours only, when this gang typically strikes, near the spot they have been striking most."

"I will have some of my elite Urbaniacs posted nearby, and we will have traps set. I'll fill you in on the way there. But you will have Jessi here to help, and you have your powers, but you must be careful. These chars are not like anything normal we have ever seen in centuries. Do you understand me?"

"Understood," I said. "Before we go, I want you to take this," he said as he handed me a handheld device. "It's an UUD, or Urbanville Universal Device. It can be a cell phone, a remote for any electronics, or even a mini rocket launcher. Use it wisely." He strapped it to my arm. "Let's go."

30 minutes later a long, sleek, black limo pulled to a screeching stop on the corner of 9th street. A darkly tinted window rolled down to reveal a pair of purple shades sitting on a bald head. Ira B. DaMan stepped out of his stretch, with a large briefcase in hand, and strutted down the sidewalk to a new shop, followed by a tall, muscular figure. He slid through the front door.

"Fred Johnson, this is the Night Site" said Ira as he walked in. "I expect an attack as early as tonight. Stay alert. As soon as anything, and I mean anything, becomes strange, you are to press the button hidden under the counter. It will contact me and all of my undercover men around this area who will be here in seconds. We have no idea what we are up against. Even the greatest of all heroes may be no match for these fire-creatures. Be very careful."

And with that, he was off, back in the stretch. I looked back at my UUD. It looked like a watch. But as Ira described in the limo, it most definatly was not.